Saturday, August 23, 2014

Three Muffin Jokes

I've rocked these muffin jokes for almost a decade as my go-tos. If you'd point at me and say, “tell me a joke, funny guy”, these are the gems you'd hear. I'd also note that you are rude.

But there comes a time to start your sentence with a conjunction. And there comes a time when you should retire your material. So, with mixed emotion, I publish here for my enormous readership: Datch's Three Muffin Jokes. Take them, world. They have served me well.

Well, the first one isn't mine. And the second one is just a derivative of another. But the third one.., the one no one ever laughs at and often walks away from slightly disappointed after way too much build up and explanation, is pure OD (Original Datch, as the kids say).

Now, with no further build up and explanation... ahem.

Two muffins are in an oven.
One muffin turns and says, “Sure is hot in here, huh?”
The other muffin replies, “Holy shit, a talking muffin!”

A muffin walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey buddy, can I have a beer?”
The bartender looks at him with a sneer and says, “We don't serve food here.”


Why did the muffin cross the road?
It accidentally slipped from my fingers and rolled there. Now it's in a puddle, completely inedible, and I'm still hungry. Sometimes... life is kinda sad.





Thursday, May 1, 2014

Monday, April 21, 2014

First Post: The Prequel

Testing. Testing. Testing.

Not intended to be a first post. If you're dredging through the archives of what has become a brilliant collection of philosophical endeavors and breakthrough insights on the human condition then you have gone too far. This is the blog equivalent of a mic check.

Paragraph and font test
Insertion of non-alphanumeric characters ✔


Nice.


Aye aye.
Added caption.
Insertion of aye-aye photo

Nnneat.  Strikethrough! Highlight. Link. Colour.
"Quote."

This is a heading.

This is a subheading in which I ponder why the heading looks like that.

A minor heading.

A major crescendo. Resolution and… End post.

FIN